Hope Restored

Saturday, September 23, 2012

Blessed Hope Restored

Tonight I had a hope restored that I have been missing for a very long time. It's not like I feared I I would miss out on eternity in Heaven when I died. I have no doubts about the eternal destination of my soul. No, what I have wrestled with for a very long time is arriving at my final destination absent of joy. I wouldn't hear the words, "depart from me you worker of iniquity I never knew you," but I might never hear the words, "well done my good and faithful servant" either.

I have spent thirty years in steadfast pursuit of a genuine calling that I have never seen come close to being a reality. I have never sat idle waiting for the perfect ministry opportunity to fall into my lap. I have plugged into and served whatever faith community I have called home and have left a trail behind me of lives positively impscted for the kingdom of God.

Yet, I have never reached that level to which I was called to and I have counted myself a failure.

I currently work with some coaching ministries with my current church and and am back in school finishing my bachelor's degree, studying to be a professional life coach. One of the most important lessons we try to teach a client early on, in Christian life coaching, is that God is less interested in the travelog of their lives than He is who they are becoming as a result of it.

This semester, as part of my Bible curriculum, I have been intensely studying Genesis. I have developed a bond of identity with Abraham. Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming to be the father of the next chosen race. It's the other things. Abraham was a man who was no stranger to having regular conversations with God. Now, I have never experienced any of the fantastic ways in which God communicated with Abraham, but for most of my life I have heard Him speak.

But this is not the only similarity I share with Abraham. He suffered a long period of waiting between the promise of an heir to a barren couple and when that child is finally born. I have been preparing and waiting for thirty years to see my calling become a reality. During the time of waiting God reaffirmed His promise to Abraham multiple times. In That time he tried to come up with practical solutions to help make the promise happen. He offered to adopt the son of one of one of his servants. He fathered a child with a surrogate. Yet, still God, said He had a plan to bring forth innumerable offspring from Abraham's seed legitimately. By the time God came around the final time to tell him he would have a son through Sarah, his wife, Abraham had given up believing God was ever going to deliver on His promise. I too experienced repeated reaffirmations of my calling and the big dreams God had for my life along with  continued  periods of great waiting without seeing any sign of my calling becoming a reality. And, I too lost the will to trust thst God would be faithful to keep His promise.

As I wrote in a previous post I recently had a major breakthrough in this area and am walking in freedom from the bondage of fear and despair. I am walking in the freedom of the knowledge that I can trust God with the end of my story. And as a result of that I now know that when I tell a client how God is more interested in who they are becoming I can mean it. I am no longer worried about how long it may take to get to the destination He has set for me. All I know is that when the final page is written on my earthly existence it will all have been put  in perspective and the end of the end of the story will speak of His glory and plan for my life.

Tonight we were at a worship experience and were singing about that final moment of our lives and looking forward to praising the Lord with even our last breath. My heart melted and I began to weep. It was nothing as severe as in the middle of the rock concert last week, but no less significant. Suddenly I realized that for the first time in many years I actually looked upon the moment that I past from this world to the next with anticipation, knowing the first thibg I would see after I closed my eyes in this world for the last time and opened them up in the next would be the face of my Savior.

In that moment I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me and I realized that I was the only one Counting myself a failure. God never counted Abraham as a failure or unrighteous for lacking in patience or expressing doubt while waiting for the promise of Isaac to be fulfilled. God is preparing for an incredible ending to my story.