After returning to California I decided that, if I wasn't going to be in school then I needed to be going to work. I also decided to start pursuing ministry opportunities. It wasn't easy doing either. Interested parties saw my failure to complete college as a flaw in my character and made them hesitant to involve themselves with me. If I wasn't able to see something through to completion, when I was so close and doing pretty good at it, then how much more could they expect me to follow through for them.
I can't blame them. On paper I would probably look at someone with the same set of circumstances with the same level of skepticism. It took a lot of effort and the submitting of nearly a thousand copies of my resume, but a few churches did eventually show some interest. And, I had a few great interviews with some great and some really kookie churches. Some of those that seemed really promising, and I know that this has been true on a repeated basis over the years, have in the end selected a candidate who had letters to place after their names over me with more years of ministry experience. In some of those cases, I know from individuals that have attended those churches, that the decisions made were quickly regretted and those youth pastors had to be let go. This doesn't mean that they would have been guaranteed an opposite experience with me or someone like me, just that paper based decisions are not always the wisest course of action.
There was one church in particular that responded that, after interviewing with the pastor, I just fell in love with. It was an inner-city church that was still in the stage that it would be considered a church plant. Church planting and urban ministries is something that is in my family history and something that God has always placed close to my heart.
We accepted the position of youth pastor and went off with a heart full of God inspired dreams for this community. It seemed, at first, that we were making a good connection with the kids and really making headway. But, our presence in the church and the community caused some very ugly things that had been operating in secret and behind the scenes to be exposed and be brought out into the light of day. It really stirred things up and certain individuals who had long enjoyed usurping authority and more or less running a church within a church were exposed for the workers of deception that they were.
We experienced everything from lies and gossip to outright racism directed at us and it appeared that there was going to be no end in sight and the pastor I was working under was neither man nor man of God enough to stand up for me or even himself and bring an end to the chaos that had been brewing for far longer than we had been there. Eventually God just told me one night while I was praying that it was time to go. I had dinner with the pastor before we left and he chewed me out for not allowing him the opportunity to help me find another ministry opportunity. I was really kind of angry by the notion that after all I had suffered through because he wouldn't stand up and defend me and the work God had given him, he honestly expected me to trust him to do that for me. But, now, after all of the time that has past, even if he didn't deserve my trust, he was right about one thing, I should have continued moving forward and secured another ministry position before leaving the one that I had. But I was feeling spiritually whipped and I did what I knew best, I tucked my tail between my legs and ran back to what was comfortable and familiar.
It would be several years before I returned to a professional role in ministry, but this practice would become a rut I would get stuck in many areas of my life. And, worse, I would begin to try and hide out there as well.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Carver Dr,Roswell,United States
No comments:
Post a Comment